The baby is starting to kick. I guess he is already trying to protect his momma. Sweet. However, I am standing in front of this really nice lady. I give her a warning.
Nicole: Top of the hour to you. It appears as if there has been some misunderstanding regarding my sister being in here as a “patient”. Her husband and I would like to see her immediately. Can you please unlock the button for that particular floor so that we may see her now?
The receptionist is looking super nervous at this point and this is what I want her to be… Super nervous. Here is the thing, when you are a pregnant woman who decides to go off on somebody, hardly anyone argues with or physically comes at you the wrong way. This is my ace.
Receptionist: Ma’am I am sorry, but I do not have access to any elevator or floor locks. I have been trying to get someone from that floor to come and escort Mr. Daniel, but I am having no luck.
My facial expression is the calm before the storm (super empathetic look)
And in comes Nicole Binion…
Nicole: I see. So instead of us talking about your lack of “trying” and you “no luck” skills, let’s focus on this… You will call the Director of this hospital. If you look to the of your desk th is a sticky note with his number attached. Instead of you talking to him because of your lack of “trying” and “bad luck”, you will hand the phone over to me. I am quite certain that once I am finished speaking with him, we will be on that elevator and getting off on her floor in a matter of three minutes. I know that you think that I am upset. I am not. This is just me having a bad attitude. You will definitely know when I decide to get upset. Dial the number! Wow, you really don’t have good luck. (shaking my head)
The receptionist seems to be scared straight and is still trying to decide whether or not she wants to deal with Nicole or call the Direct. She decides on the lesser of two evils and dials the Director. Nicole literally snatches the phone from the receptionist and looks at Chico. She has a look on her face that says, “like did you call in your dogs?” She was thinking that he was nice and friendly. Chico gives her the looks like, you should have let me up there earlier. Nicole is on the phone reading this Director and throwing legal terms at him left and right.
Nicole is a Senior Vice President to one of the largest insurance companies in the world. She is the true definition of “Only Bitches Get The Corner Office” She and her husband live in the Potomac area of Maryland, right outside of D.C. She always says that she lives modestly. Yeah right. She thinks that modesty isn’t the new S650 Mercedes 4- door convertible. This car was special ordered and in Nicole Binion fashion, she had them customize the back seat to accommodate the baby. Nicole’s home is immaculate. You can literally perform surgery in her foyer. She is a huge fan of mirrors and crystal. You will see some types of exclusive art pieces throughout her home. Nicole has what you would consider a “dressing room” A closet would not truly be the right word for her wardrobe keeping space. Her “closet” covers about 100 to 200 square feet. The average bedrooms in most homes are 72-80. She actually has a “coordinator” who comes everyday for a few hours to “manage” her “closet”. This coordinator is responsible for taking Nicole’s clothes to the cleaners, re-organizing Nicole’s closet, presents a layout of outfits that Nicole will wear for the week. In addition, this coordinator does Nicole’s personal shopping and typically attends fashion shows with Nicole to see any runway pieces that Nicole would like to add to her collection. The biggest “moderate” thing is that Nicole only wears her undergarments once. This poor coordinator has to continuously purchase new bras and panties every week and they must match the outfit that she has on. All I am saying is… Can we help the children in Africa with $0.35 a day?
Nicole does not cook. Let’s face it, some people are great with some things like dressing and shopping. Some people actually cook, clean, and drive themselves to work. Nicole married quickly after we graduated Hampton. I don’t know what was in the Kool-Aid, but Nicole and Caleb were goo-goo in love. So outside of Nicole’s “modest” lifestyle, Caleb always reels her in and get her to be the “Round Da Way” girl we knew in college. Nicole was not snobbish or unfriendly. She just didn’t take no shit off of nobody. No one could blame her for that. Caleb has this amazing production career in television. He has produced many of the prime time shows that you watch on a regular. Even though is well known and successful, he likes to keep a low profile. However, Nicole and I are loud. Caleb and Chico are like brothers and truly enjoy getting away from Nicole and myself. They literally look as if they are on an island drinking beers at the beach like “Trading Places” . Poor things.
I am still in group listening to the others tell their stories. I am sure that they have repeated this every day. As they talk, Deborah is asking all kinds of unprofessional questions, as if this is her own soap opera or “Jerry Springer” show. Technically it is. From what I can gather, Deborah is going to get her hair and nails done first. To hell with paying that cable bill on time. Shit, she doesn’t even know how to use the internet, so live your life girl.
Marlon is now speaking about his situation. His accent is really soothing and gentle. My mind starts to wander off. I am sad again. I hope Chico has given Baylor his double stack plain with cheese from Wendy’s. No pickles. No onions. I miss my family. I miss Chic. And because I have Anticipatory Anxiety and I haven’t been on my meds, I spiral. What if I can’t get in touch with Chico? If Chico doesn’t know that it is me calling, will he just give up? Oh My God! He can’t call me!! If he doesn’t get to speak to me , then he will assume that I am not getting out of here. He will take Baylor and move back to Atlanta. What if he gives me divorce papers, because he said he would write? If there is a next bitch I am going to lose it. I am already trying to see if you could get mail in here and so far I haven’t heard “mail call”. No one will come to get me because I won’t be able to get out. You get the drift.
I bounce back to listening to Marlon. Deborah is drilling him for more. Marlon is a really calm and sweet guy. I don’t know why he is here either. He was explaining that he did carpentry and paint work. Deborah wants to know what put him in the psyche ward. Marlon says, “I had a hard time getting work in construction. I am only here on a work visa. I was trying to do little odd jobs to at least pay my rent. The money that I was making wasn’t enough. I got evicted. I went to a park and met another man from the Caribbean. I told him my dilemma. He told me his. I am worried that if we get in trouble by the police for being in the park, they will deport me back to the islands. I have nothing left in the islands. My wife died and we had no children. No family. I came here to start over. The man in the park told me that if the police ever came, tell them that you wanted to be Baker Acted. I didn’t even know what a Baker Act meant. One night, I was in the park sleeping under a tree. The police came and asked me to move it along. I didn’t argue because I didn’t want to get deported. The officers just kept pushing myself and three other homeless men. He then asked us to empty our pockets. They were looking for drugs. One of the men had some crack cocaine on him. At this point, I know that we are going to jail. I tell one of the officers that I had Baker Acted. Still didn’t know what that meant. Next thing I know, the other men were put in separate cars and I was put in one by myself. I am saying to myself, praise God. Next thing I know I end up here. It is not so bad. I help clean up, I get three meals a day, and I have my own cot.”
Whoa!! That is not crazy. That is what I call survival. Deborah asks Marlon how long has be been here and he says “eight months”. Eight fucking months!! I am ready to pull out my damn hair. Are you shitting me? Why have they kept you here for eight months? WTF!!! Not on duty.
Next up, Maria. And just like on cue, Deborah says “Maria, why are you here?” Maria just floats her ass away. Hair blowing and everything. I am beginning to think that this bitch is a figment of my imagination. Her ass is still floating towards the prison tables. Light glowing all around her and all. Most people would find this shit right here funny. I am mesmerized. I had never seen a floating ass ghost woman in my life. I almost want to ask her if she knows Nostradamus and could she please ask how long I am going to be in this shit hole. I make a note to self so that I can approach her at just the right time. Maybe have some graham crackers or cranberry juice. As I think about giving her some food as a token of my appreciation, I say “Shit!” If you ate the food and drunk the juice it is going to go straight through her. I am going to be able to see it go down and hit he floor. Because she is a ghost, she won’t even be able to enjoy it. Duly noted. I will find her ass a brush and a new robe to float in. Bet!
I am just letting Nicole do her thing. I feel sorry for the receptionist, but I am full throttle on getting Cint out of this place. I am wondering if she is safe. I am sure that she is not eating in a place like this. I know she is crying. I doubt that they have a closet for her to escape. I am glad that Nicole just came down and didn’t go to far asking me a lot of questions. Had she done that, I would have been stuck. How do you explain to someone that your wife was taken from you by force? This shit is all my fault. Chic, don’t think like that. Your primary goal is to get Cint out! I am angry. I am trying not to break the elevator door. I am trying to be on good behavior so that I will not go to jail, be admitted to this shit hole, or freak my God Son out that Nicole is carrying. I was trying to be nice and gentle with the receptionist, hoping that she would show me favor and all me to go up. She didn’t, so now Nicole is here and she is just going to have to take that ass whooping like a grown woman. Nicole is on the phone cussing somebody the fuck out and I ain’t made at her. She is only doing what I can’t do because I am a black man in Florida, with a warning that says that I was thinking about not stopping at a stop sign that was a quarter mile away on my street. My strategy is to stay calm. Don’t blow up. I keep repeating to myself. Don’t blow up. Don’t blow up. I am trying to get her out of here and I am guessing that I can get more with sugar than I can shit. I will let Nicole play bad cop. I doubt very seriously if they would even touch her.
Nicole throws the phone at the receptionist . She goes over to Chic and says, “Let’s go!” Let’s go where Chico is thinking. Nicole looks at him as if she were perplexed and says, “Now you know I didn’t come down her to “Try” and have “Bad Luck” Get your shit. We are going upstairs. Ain’t nobody got time for some damn seasonal receptionist to tell my ass NO! Are you fucking kidding me? The security officer should be coming around the corner just about now” Chico looks up and damn if it isn’t a security officer coming their way.
That is it for the day boys and girls. Cash me outside!
Ok. I haven’t really thought about Maria until now. (In my commercial voice) If you or someone you know has a prison approved brush or robe, be a friend. Send that shit to Tampa and just label it “Maria” They will know exactly who you are talking about. (Odom that was for you) 🙂