How We Got Back Home XVIII… Chapter 18

“Attention all passengers waiting to board flight 1487 to Tampa.  There has been a delay in the departure time of this flight due to weather issues here in Atlanta.  Please remain close to the gate area, so that you can stay informed of the latest updates”  Again, I should have flown private or military.  I am losing my patience and so I decide to walk across from my gate to grab a beer and possibly catch any highlights that Anderson Cooper may be bringing to the table.  As I am waiting on my Coors Light, I decide to call Chico and let him know that I am en route to Tampa.  I want him to pick me up from the airport and from there we will go straight to this place they are trying to hold my child captive.

Nicole tells me that she is making arrangements to stay at a hotel.  I tell her, none of that would be happening.  I had already spoken to Caleb and my instructions were to keep Nicole under control.   Yeah right.  I truly want to know how he does that, from what I can see, no one has her under control not even her boss at work.  As I am driving us back to our house, Nicole is on the phone.  It is obviously a business call…. or is it?

“Listen, I signed those damn papers the other day for my approval”… Silence….”Well who the fuck lost them?  You mean to tell I step out of the office for a few hours and this is what happens when I leave?  I want you to write down exactly what I say.  ‘Make an appointment with the VP of Human Resources that can hire someone that can execute my leadership and directions'” I hang up the phone.  He gets on my last nerve.   I’m sure my superior will understand the tone that I used with him.  He is definitely ready for the golden parachute.  My phone rings again and I am thinking that it is my boss calling me for something else.  I answer the phone, “what the fuck now?”  “Nicole?”  It is one of my other bosses Joseph Jones and I clearly change my tone and choice of vocabulary.  “Daddy these hormones have me all over the place and the baby is kicking and I am hungry again”  He sees straight through that one and tells me to stop cussing people out at work, including my boss.  “Damn”

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“Listen Nicole, I am stuck in Atlanta on a flight delay to Tampa.  They are saying it is due to bad whether.”  I am telling Chico to pull the car over with my hands.  He isn’t following me and so like my luck, we end up in some God awful traffic situation.  It’s a damn parking lot on I-75 and of course I have to pee again.   I say to myself, fuck it and put Daddy on speaker phone.  “Daddy, Chico and I are on speaker phone.  What do you need from us?”  He goes on to say that he is on his way here as soon as possible.  He will keep us posted on his travel once he knows more.  Either way the two of us are to pick him up when he lands.  I call Caleb back and tell him that Papa Joe has spoken.

“Dinner!” “Disgusting” orderly is back on duty and standing at the dinner cart passing trays out like we are the homeless or prisoners.  Again, John and I are in our seats waiting for the coffee to be called.  As we move back into our seats to eat, Susan decides to sit next to Carol at the table directly in front of mine.  Without me paying any attention, John throws a napkin over his tray and walks away like he is going to get some salt and pepper.  All of a sudden, Felonious has Susan up by the hair.  Susan is yelling.  Felonious tells her, through gritted teeth, that the seat she is sitting in is hers and will always be hers even after she is gone!  This must be “lazy ass” orderly duty.  No one jumps in or tries to break it up.  Some of the other “patients” are cheering this shit on.

Not sure what the hell came over me….  I go to Felonious just as calm.  Susan has tears in her eyes and she is still being dragged by her hair.  “Susan, remember I told you that this table was the one I told you to sit?”  I am pointing at the table that John and I are sitting.  “I’m sorry if I confused you”.  I give a look to Felonious like, gone and let her go.  Felonious looks at me and I tell her, that I got an extra fruit cup.  Fruit cup was definitely the magic words.  Felonious drops Susan and follows me over to my table.  I hook her up and tell her that at some point, we are going to need to talk about your anger issues.  She gives me a slight smile, like, “I’m sorta your friend, but I still don’t like you”

We are still stuck on I-75 and Nicole is snoring.  I will let the great big giant sleep.  My mind is racing everywhere.  I knew that Joseph was going to come here no matter what.  Time limit my ass.  I end up making a phone call to the attorney that I saw earlier online who specializes in this.  Just think, they have attorneys that actually make a living on getting people off of a Baker Act.  I end up speaking to an “associate” who is gathering my information to present to the attorney.  She will build the report and someone will contact me shortly.  Shortly??  What the hell is shortly?  I am hoping that this lawyer calls me back ASAP.  I indicated to the “associate”, that this issue needed to be resolved within the next few hours, money for expediting this process will show favor for this attorney’s extra help.  Let’s just hope that Joseph doesn’t beat this lawyer.

This should be fun…  I ring the doorbell out of respect.  I have not called nor announced  being here in Atlanta.  Since all flights were cancelled, I decided to try my luck with a temporary holding ground….. Waterford.  I hear someone stomping to the door and I am wishing on a star that this doesn’t mean that she is in a bad mood.  She gets to the door opens the curtain.  She clearly sees that it is me, yet she asks, “who is it?”  “Jordan, it’s your father.  Can you open the door?”  She opens the wooden door but slows down to open the burglar bar door.  She wants to know why the hell am I here.  She is looking at my suitcases as if they are the plague.  I tell her that I can better explain if she lets me inside.   She stands there for a second and finally decides to unlock the door that I already have the key for.  SMH.

Ain’t this some shit!  I just can’t catch a break.  Here I am getting dressed to hit this scene and here comes this fool.   I am starting to repeat in my head, “I am an adult, he is the child”  He looks worn out.  I flat out ask him, “I hope the reason why you have that many suitcases is because you are on your way to Asia?”  He says “No”  “Shit!  Ok, so tell me what’s up”  Dad goes on about the situation in Tampa.  Thank you Jesus for this trouble is not mine.  Jacinta and I have our ups and downs.  We may fight and argue a lot, but if it gets rough, no one better come between us and they better stay out of our way.  As I am listening to this situation that Daddy is spelling out, I am calculating how soon I could pack, gas the car, and get on the road to Tampa Memorial. I have six hours and thirty-four minutes.  I get this shit from Daddy.

I can tell that Daddy is on a warpath. I am guessing that there is nothing that we would be able to do to get Jacinta out of this situation by the time we get there.  “Daddy, don’t worry about the flight, be ready to hit the road at 6:00 a.m.  By that time, I would have digested this Cognac…Tampa doesn’t want both of us there!

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