How We Got Back Home XXX… Chapter 30

What I find to be so interesting is that when the orderlies yell “Dinner or Group”, this crew gets to moving.  The minute someone yells “Visitation”, it is as if no one heard a word nor does anyone look to see if there is anyone coming through the matrix door to visit them.  The only person that has been persistent about this has been Mickey Mouse Carol.  I feel bad for her.  It is almost like she decides in her head that she is going to get a visit from someone and they have already worked out the details and she is looking for them the minute that “Visitation” is called.  Truth of the matter is that this is wishful thinking.  She is not thinking of it in that way.  In her mind, she really believes that she has had this conversation and everything that has been discussed in her head is going to plan.  She has even taken some of her color pencils and dipped them in water to make a lipstick to add some color to her face.  Poor thing.

I feel bad that the very first two people to walk through the matrix are Chico and Nicole.  What trips me out is that John has two visitors as well, his son and his wife.  There is another patient that was admitted late last night.  He looks like they should have just taken him to jail.  I know that sounds awful, but that is truly what they should have done with him.  The only thing wrong with this man is that he has a tendency to sell drugs close to school property.  Idiot.  He doesn’t know anyone in the “Doom Room”, but he is steady announcing that one of his women is on the way and his books are going to be on pointe.  There aren’t any “books” for your women to put any loose change on.  This pisses me off and again, I still haven’t had my meds.  So I am trying not to appear irritated with the fact that his behavior is how most people view black people in general.  It’s offensive and I plan on telling him to shut the hell up in two more minutes.  I know that if he keeps it up, Nicole Binion is liable to throw something at him to shut it up.  Can you see how this can cause a domino effect?  Imagine if you are someone like Lieutenant, who has hardly ever received mental treatment.  He is probably thinking that this is Via Kong and will kill him on sight.  It is truly unfair.

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Anyhow, I put my arms around Chico and I breathe him in,   I  never want to forget this smell.   Not just because it smells like hell in here, but because this is his scent.  Nothing can beat this scent.  I am so happy to see the both of them.   I go to hug Nicole and as much as I know she wants to hug me and swing me around, she looks down at her Chloe jumpsuit and then back at me.   I laugh and I ask, are you truly choosing Chloe over a hug with your best friend.  She tilts her head so that she can truly process this.  Because I am the same label whore that she is, I laugh and I kiss on her both cheeks as if we are in the middle of fifth avenue.  She grabs me anyway and the for the first time I feel tears from her fall on the side of my face.  I hug her a little longer.   I whisper that I will pay for the dry cleaning of the jump suit.  She corrects me and tells me that I will be paying for the same jump suit in white.  Gotta love her.    The three of us go to a different prison table, because John has company as well.   While we are trying to sit down, Nicole has already begun her “let me wipe this shit down with my Clorox wipes before we touch anything” routine.  Chico offers to do it for her and she refuses because she knows how to do it correctly.  I look at him and ask how is he and his sister wife getting along.   He says that with him, she just eats and eats.  She loves the food at La Terecita, but they insist on giving us the same waitress who hates Nicole and they argue through “Eye” language.  That’s funny.  I know that Caleb is having the most right now.  Golf course, floor seats at the basketball game with his homies, hell he might even went grocery shopping and used some coupons.

As Nicole is going on about her business of washing everything down, the should be “prisoner” is able to get a good look at her ass….  Damn!  Here we go.   “Well shit baby, had I known that you would have been coming, I would have ordered bacon and ham!  Damn you got a fat ass!”  The wiping down of the table stops…..   Chico starts to come to Nicole’s defense.  She looks at Chico like “please let me handle this”.  Since he and I are not aware as to how the next steps go, we decided to step back.  When Nicole stands up and faces Prisoner, he is even more excited.   She is pregnant and he hears that pregnant pussy is out of this world.  His next line doesn’t shock me.  Now it is time for the rest of the “Doom Room” to get their graham crackers and fake juice to see what happens next in this drama.

Nicole slowly places the Clorox cleanup paper on the ground.  Nicole starts in, “FOOL!!!”  Prisoner straightens up and gets even more excited because she is giving him the view and the attention that he was looking for in the first place.  “Mama, calm down.  Now you know you ain’t got to act all crazy and shit up in here.  That’s why all of us are in here in the first place.”    Prisoner starts to make all kinds of perverted gestures at Nicole and this is when Chico can’t take it anymore.  Chico gets in front of Nicole despite her protest of him doing so.  She is sooo New York, so she can take care of herself.  I am reminded that she is from Long Island…..  yeah….  U.S. Open,  Jones beach, and The Infamous Hamptons.  I am sure Diddy’s party setup team is on duty right now.

Now I have to jump in and tell Chico to chill, and that this is a fool, and he came to see me, not get locked up.  Chic back downs a bit and tells Nicole to take a seat so that we can just walk away from the entire situation.  Chico and I sit at our prison table and Nicole is still standing.  I look at her like “sit your ass down”.  She looks at me and says “Bitch, this Chloe jumpsuit is black chiffon.  I really didn’t plan on sitting down anywhere in this mother fucker while I was here.  I am just making sure that you are Chic are ok.”  I close my eyes because the truth of the matter is that she needs to have her ass locked up in here with me.  She is managing her emotions at a high level of foolishness.  Chico already wound up from dealing with Super Prisoner, tells Nicole to sit her ass down before he calls Caleb from the “Doom Room” phone bank.  No arguments there.  As she starts to sit, Prisoner tells her that she can always come and sit on his lap.   He promises he wouldn’t let whatever stain he has for her ruin her stay.   Chico stands up.  Lieutenant and Marlon are on his heels and they are holding him back.  Daniel whips out of the blue and gets in prisoner’s face to tell him to leave us the fuck alone.  I gotta give it to them, my “Doom Room” squad ain’t no joke.

At this point, I know that they are going to end visitation, the squad is not going to be able to go to the Veranda after dinner because my fine ass, pregnant sister came in here with a onesie on.  This upsets me and makes me nervous, but at this point there is no turning back.   Click… Click…Click…. Nicole is at the nurse’s station where Disgusting and Ghetto are sitting and watching the shenanigans.  SMH!  “Excuse me, can either of you incompetents get your boy over there?  I would hate for anyone on this hospital floor to have to clean the teeth and blood up off the floor once my brother beats the shit out of his ass for coming at us like he has.”  ANY OTHER PERSON!!!  I MEAN ANY OTHER PERSON,  would have been offended at the word “incompetent”.  However, this is the “Doom Room” and no one but Susan, John, and I know what the meaning of “incompetent”.  So instead of these fools taking offense, they take it like it is a compliment and go towards the fight to get Prisoner out of the way.

Prisoner sees the two “Incompetents” coming towards his way and he tells Nicole that she didn’t have to do that.  “You act like that is my retarded ass kid that I ain’t gone pay shit on in your stomach Ma!   You got the wrong one!”  John, Lieutenant, and Daniel still haven’t left Chico’s side.  I need at lease 3 Xanax.  Long Island, Strong Island (Nicole), looks at him and gives him the roasting of a life time.  And here it goes:

Number 1, Ain’t no way in hell you are the father to this or I hope that anyone else who is currently carrying a baby.  Only a sick bitch who sucks sick dicks would be allowed to admit such stupidity on her part.

Number 2,  you are lucky that there are so many people in this bitch who actually care about whether or not you live or die.  Trust me, my brother is still over there calculating in his head, how the fuck he plans on throwing you off the pier in St. Pete some damn time TONIGHT! For some damn reason, the other people in here deem him special and are not going to allow him to fuck up so that he ends up where your dumb ass should be right now.

Thirdly, (and she whispers this one)….  I am going to fuck you up myself personally.   These stupid ass orderlies love the way my money smells and as soon as they think you are by yourself and minding your own business, you better think of me.  Don’t chew the gum they give you bitch!

She spits in his face and throws the dirty Clorox clean up wipe at him and turns to me like none of that shit even happened.  “How you holding up chick?”   As soon as I can get my ass out of this situation, I will be making appointments for both of us to see specialists about how foolish our asses are.  Disgusting takes Prisoner to the other side of “Doom Room”, he tells him to sit as if Prisoner is really going to do that shit.  Here comes Ghetto and Prisoner lets his guards down, by checking her out and giving her rude ass compliments.  Some of the compliments he gives her, she actually believes.   SMH.  The whole time he is talking shit, he thinks that they are there to scan his bracelet.  Ghetto gives him the shot.  He feels funny and looks confused as if he has been tricked.  To make matters worse, Maria floats her ass directly in front of him.  She just floats right there.  This makes him thinks he is hallucinating.  He isn’t.  He fades to black and all is right in the “Doom Room” again.

I guess Maria took his passing out that all was clear.  She floats her ass over towards us and says, “Calm down Lewis.”  She floats away.  Nicole looks at Chico and says, “So Lewis, what we talking bout this fine evening?”  Chic is mad and honestly I know that he is ready to go.  Instead, he calms himself down.  Daniel offers him a cigarette which is nothing but a few pieces of coloring paper that he has rolled up.  Chico thanks him, but tells him he gave up smoking paper years ago.   Daniel hits him with “I got your back.  Don’t worry about these assholes.  I got a woman on the outside and the men are all over her like crack, so I know what you are going through.”  Nicole and I look at each other and confirm that we are good looking enough to be Crack Queens.  Chico thanks Daniel, John, and Lieutenant again.  There is some small talk between the four men.  Nicole tells me that they got a lawyer and we may have a time slot for Baker Act Court on Monday.  My head looks down and she is confused as to why I am thinking that this isn’t good news.  I tell her that my luck ain’t that lucky. I am siking myself to believe that what happens will happen, when it happens.  This attitude of mine concerns her.

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