I have been sleep for what feels like forever. I hear the doorbell ringing and Baylor is barking as if someone is at the door. Baylor has several different alert barks. Each of them I am familiar with. I will bet money on Baylor 10 to 1 when it comes to him versus a home alarm system. At least with Baylor, I know whether or not I need to bring my gun with me to the door. I grab my robe and for a minute I have to really get familiar with my surroundings. It feels like I wake up to a new place every single morning. At this point, I have to figure out where the hell is the front door.
I walk down the stairs, still somewhat sleep. At the same time, I am trying to understand who would be ringing my doorbell at 9:00 a.m. The only person that truly knows where we live is Racquel. Maybe she is trying to come over to see if we need any help settling in.
Caleb Binion is the best. He is constantly hiding little sweet gifts for me around the house or in my purse or briefcase for me to find. I was in the airport waiting for my flight to board and when I pulled out my phone, I had a brand new Chanel phone case. The case sparkles like diamonds when the phone rings or if I have a notification. It is gorgeous. I call to tell him to thank him for always thinking about me and making sure I don’t want for anything. When we were at Hampton, we were broke. We would lay down in this small ass bed and just look at the ceiling to talk. We shared our dreams, painted out our future together, and we even made a bucket list. That was over 15 years ago and he has kept every promise. I just rang the doorbell to Cint’s house and at the same time, my phone is lighting up all over the place.
I open the door and I lose it!!! Shit!!! They found me!! Oh my God!! What the fuck!!! I am running through the house on the hardwood floors. I can’t make out who all was at the door, but I see the lights and the lights are telling me that I am caught. The lady that was at the door is running through the house behind me. All I hear are heavy clicks on the floor. “CHIC!!!!!” I am yelling as if my life is depended on it. It is depending on it. I don’t know this house. I have no idea which door leads to what room or whether or not I am able to hide in a closet that actually has a lock. I find a spare bedroom filled with moving boxes. I close the door and start pushing boxes up against the door. I find the closet and I get inside to hide. My breathing is beyond heavy. My chest is damn near trying to push my heart out.
I hear Cint screaming and a bunch of commotion going on downstairs. This has my adrenaline running once again. I have got to get this shit under control. We can’t live like this. I run downstairs, underwear and all. The front door is wide open. There is a Tumi suitcase sitting on the porch. It belongs to Nicole. It has her initials on the bag tag. I am now hearing Nicole somewhere in the house. “CINT!!! Open the door!!! It is me, Nicole!!! Baby I am here to help you. Please open the door. Please believe me. I am not here to take you back to that place.” I find Nicole with her face pressed to one of the spare bedrooms. “What in the world is going on?” I realize that I am in my underwear and Nicole turns back around as if she just caught her parents doing it. I shake my head, but I am worried about Jacinta and trying to figure out what is going on. Nicole tells me that Cint opened the door and flipped out. She says that she started running through the house and now she has locked herself into this room. “Chic, I don’t even know if she knows that it is me!” Nicole has tears coming down her face now. This is pretty serious. I am not sure that I have ever seen Nicole cry. She is just as feisty and strong as my Jacinta used to be.
“Used to be…..” This saddens me, but right now, we have a situation on our hands and we need to go into “fix it” mode. I go back to our bedroom and throw on some sweats. Lucky for us, the room that Cint has barricaded herself, is a Jack and Jill room. This room has an adjoining bathroom that connects to another bedroom on the opposite side. I go through the other bedroom and I am trying not to just pop- up on her. “Cint, baby, it’s me. Where are you? Let me help you.” I can hear her weeping. This is so overwhelming. My heart is broken. My Cint is broken. Nicole is standing behind me and she is overwhelmingly upset. She looks as if all if this is her fault. We both walk into the bedroom and we already know that she has tried to lock herself into the closet. “Baby, it’s me. I am about to open the door. You are safe!!! Nicole is here with me. She is here to check on you. We are opening the door.” I open on the door and she is scared straight. Her eyes are different. Her face is different. She is different. I am steady talking to Jacinta. I want her to come out of the closet on her own. I don’t want her to think that we are making her do anything. I don’t want any force put on her. Nicole is begging her at this point to come out of the closet. I tell her to get her some water and her Xanax.
There are boxes all throughout this house. How Chico and Cint got all of this shit moved overnight is beyond me. It would take me a week to do what they have done in a couple of days and overnight at that. There are no cups or glasses around. I remember that I have a bottle of water in my purse. I roll my bags into the foyer and lock the front door. I have to take a breather myself. I have no idea what just happened. I was super happy to see her and I was excited when I was on the plane. I was thinking we could have a cool girl’s weekend. You know, Spa, some shopping, and some more shopping. I just knew that this might be the right medicine for my girl to move forward from this horrible experience. I wasn’t expecting this shit. I go to look for Cint’s purse. I find the Xanax and I notice that she doesn’t have many pills left. This is going to be a problem if she is having these episodes and if she is having them all of the time.
Chico is sitting on the floor. He has Jacinta in his arms and he is rocking her. She has stopped crying. Her eyes are straight ahead. She isn’t looking at anything in particular. The baby is kicking my stomach as if he is trying to tell me to sit my ass down somewhere. I put the bottle of pills and water on the floor next to Chic and Cint. I rub her head and kiss her on her cheek. Her eyes do not move and she doesn’t even realize that it is me or that I am even here for that matter. This makes me cry some more. Where the hell is my partner in crime? Where the hell is my sister? I need her. I tell Chico that I will be downstairs on the sofa if he needs me. I would be pregnant when I needed a strong drink. I know it is morning, but I never thought that there should be a timing to when it is appropriate to drink. All of this moving and running around has gotten me tired. I lean back on the sofa and I close my eyes. I am not sleep. I am trying to think about what we need to do to get Cint straight without her thinking that she is back in that place.
I finally get Cint to go back into out bedroom and lay down. She isn’t sleep. She is just staring off into space. I am trying to get her to drink the water and take a pill, but I am not having any luck. I crack the blinds to let some light into the room. I don’t want her sitting in a dark room. I am grateful that this house comes with a ton of windows. I don’t want her to feel like she is in prison with no windows. Our backyard is heavily wooded, private, and peaceful. I ask Cint if she wants me to turn on the television for any particular show or movie. She doesn’t respond. I kiss her. This time she returns the kiss. This at least lets me know that she was somewhat responsive. I leave the water and the pill on the nightstand beside her. I go downstairs to check on my other “wife” Nicole. Caleb is going to have to start traveling with her. I can’t handle both of these women at the same time.
“Nicole, you straight?” Chico is looking around to see if he can find any Kleenex. I have my own and wave my hand to indicate that I am ok. I tell him that my hormones are all over the place. “He gives me the ‘yeah right’ look.” He knows that I am all to pieces about what just happened. “Chic, we gotta do something about Cint. I am not sure how to handle her like this. I have never seen her like this. When she opened the door she lost it. What is wrong with her?” Chico looks down as if he is thinking the same thing that I am. We both don’t want to put her back into a hospital, even though that may be where she needs to be. I can’t do her like that. Not to mention, we need to address her breast cancer situation. We have to prioritize, but we can’t have her fucked up physically and mentally. That is just a disaster waiting to happen.
“Nick, I already know what you are thinking. We need to put a private medical team together for her. Maybe if we address it privately, she will trust it, we can treat her, and she won’t feel like she is going to go back to Florida.” Nicole agrees with all that I am saying. “Chic, where are we going to find this miracle medical team? I don’t know anyone here in Atlanta that can do what we need them to do. She has about four more Xanax. I don’t even know if that is strong enough to even deal with what she has going on now. She needs more than just Xanax.”
Chico pulls out his phone. He puts in a call to another friend of Jacinta’s, that still lives in Atlanta and they are close enough that he feels confidant enough to rely on her help. The phone is ringing and finally a voicemail pops up. “Karla, it’s Chico. I have a problem and I need your help. It’s about Cint. Call me back as soon as you can.”
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