“Chico!!! Why would you say that?!! Momma is standing right here and she is trying to meet you.” Saved by the bell, Joseph heads into the kitchen and it dawns on him that all of this stuff is out on the countertops. “Good Morning, what’s going on?” I decide to let Jacinta explain herself to her father. I don’t want to ignite any additional confusion. I love this woman. I am saddened by all that she has gone through and all that she is going through. She is my rock. I need her to be ok. I have never seen her trip out like this before. I lean against the counter and cross my arms across my chest. I have no fucking idea as to what to do. Its clear that she is on one. I don’t know what this is, but this isn’t my Jacinta.
“Daddy look! Momma is here! She isn’t dead. She came to see about me. Have a seat!” Joseph looks around and he doesn’t see anyone other than myself. I give him a look and I am hoping that we can read each other’s mind. He looks back at Jacinta, “Whose Momma?” He must have thought that she was referring to my mother, but my mother isn’t deceased. He is just as confused as she is at this point. “Baby, I don’t see anyone else here other than Chico.” You could put a knife through the silence that now lays in the room. I have no idea what is going through her head right now. Hell, for that matter, neither does Joseph. Now he is shooting me a “What to do or say” next look. I have no idea. The look on her face is devastating. You can tell that she has been let down completely. What made her think that her grandmother, who has been dead since July of 1993 was still alive is beyond my realm of understanding.
“Baby, you are ok and you are safe. Why don’t I fix you a cup of coffee and then we can figure out what we want to eat for breakfast?” She nods her head in agreement, but her face is the saddest that I have ever seen. I can tell you that there is nothing worse than seeing someone you love so much hurt like this. I am a sucker for her tears. I go to her and I wrap my arms around her. I am kissing her on her neck and telling her that everything is going to fine. That she will be fine. She still hasn’t said a word. Joseph is at a lost and at this point he proceeds to finish making the coffee. As we wait for the water to percolate, the both of us are standing there with her to see what she will say or do next. “Baby, you ok?” She gets out of my grasp and walks away. She heads back to the bedroom and I decide that I need to give her some space.
My mind can’t be as bad as I am starting to think. Am I really dreaming? I can’t be. I saw her. She touched my arm. I miss her. Maybe my mind is really playing tricks on me. What the fuck is wrong with me? I cry.
“Chico, I have no idea as to what is going on with my children. Is there something that I need to know? Like, how do you guys even have a house in Atlanta? I thought you guys were still in Tampa. What is going on?” I am clearly not trying to be the one to have this conversation with this man. I know that he is worried and honestly, Cint is in no real condition to lay down all of the play by play of how we got here. I decide to cut to the chase and just explain all that have happened. “Look, I went to a lawyer as you know to help get Jacinta Baker Act trial date in Tampa. I had to get her to sign off on some legal documents to get this process started. At the same time, Jacinta met a social worker that was assisting her on a different direction that we didn’t know was even an alternative. She ended up getting on Baker Act probation. This allowed her to leave the psyche ward every night. She was to show up at 6 a.m. and was allowed to go home at 9 p.m. everyday. She was assigned a Baker Act appointed Psychiatrist. She was to report into that doctor once a week or as they saw fit. This would go on until they actually assigned her a Baker Act trial date. Well Jacinta had other plans when they released her to come home. She wanted to rent a moving van and leave Florida for good. She wasn’t going back to that place ever again. Hell, I didn’t want her back in that place ever again. We packed up everything. Jacinta found us this house to rent over the phone on our way up here. We just got here a few days ago. I mean, look at all of the boxes that are scattered around. We still haven’t gotten fully settled in. You called her and told her to check on Jordan and she did. I just think that this was not the greatest idea given her recent trauma. I honestly thought that Jordan was physically sick. I didn’t realize that they had taken her to that special floor. I think that must have triggered Cint in some kind of way. I am sure that place reminded her of what she just ran away from.”
I give Joseph a second to process all of the information that I have just laid on him. You can tell by his facial expression that he feels bad about the situation. None of this is his fault, but his daughters are in a situation and both of them need help. “I wish that you guys would trust me enough to share the appropriate information. How can I help you if I don’t know what is going on? It seems like I am always the last person to know everything. That isn’t fair to me.” I understand his logic. “I get what you are saying. However, Jacinta and Jordan aren’t children any more. They are grown women. They have to decide what they want you to know and what exactly do they want from anyone for this matter.” I go back to fixing breakfast. Joseph’s phone goes off. I can tell from the conversation that it is Jordan calling.
“Chico, I need to get back down to Grady. We have to get Jordan out of there and now!” I don’t know what Jordan said to her father, but he is on a mission and he looks pissed. Joe goes quickly up the stairs and starts to get dressed. The commotion must have alerted Cint. I go upstairs to check on her. She still has a confused look on her face and I can tell that she has been crying. I hug her some more to comfort her. “What’s going on Chic? Why don’t you and Daddy believe me? Goodmomma was really here! I saw her. She touched my arm. She lead me downstairs to make me breakfast. Why are you and Daddy making it seem as though I am crazy or that I don’t know what I am talking about. She is here babe! I know this!” I don’t want to repeat that this is not what is actually going on. I really don’t know what to say to hear to convince her that this vision of her grandmother is a figment of her imagination.
Knock… Knock. There is a knock on our bedroom door. It is Joseph letting us know that he is taking Jacinta’s car to go and see about Jordan. “I will go with you Daddy. Let me throw on some clothes.” Not a good idea. “Babe, you need to get some rest. You have been through a lot the last couple of weeks. Getting some rest. might be the best thing for you right now.” She is steady putting on clothes. “Chico, I am going downstairs to see if I can get Goodmomma to come with us. I know that when Jordan sees her, she will feel much better.” Damn it! I start to put on my clothes. I can’t let her go out in her condition. She is still under the impression that her dad and I are trying to play her. Joseph speaks up. “Jacinta, Chico is right. You need to stay here. We will talk about Goodmomma when I get back. For now, we need to get Jordan out of that place. There isn’t anything that we need you to do right now.”
It’s more than obvious that Jacinta gets her stubbornness from her father. She has already put her purse over her shoulder and is heading back downstairs to get into the car. I guess I need to get it in motion too. I am curious to see how they plan to get Jordan out of this hospital. From what I overheard yesterday, only a doctor can release her from the 12th floor. It didn’t seem like this was something that was going to get approved today. Not to mention, even if we are able to get Jordan out of Grady, she stills needs medical care. Physically, she did not look good at all and the vomiting seemed like it was out of control. I know that Cint thinks she can fix this. Let’s just hope that the great people of Grady Hospital don’t think Jacinta needs the same help as Jordan and put her in the next room. Shit aint happening on my watch. Know that!