I don’t speak any other languages. So far, I have had to depend on Navy men who are fluent to help me out when I am at shore. I had a Navy guy write on a piece of paper the word “airport” in French. The double blades from the helicopter is rotating stronger and stronger. There is a big difference between flying over water versus flying over land. The wind is choppy and the movement of the chopper is not an easy ride. I start to feel motion sickness, but there is no way that I will throw up on this military chopper. My nerves are already bad given the circumstances. At least when I get to port, I can find a pay phone and call home again to see if there are any updates. I am thankful that Ms. Burris and Ms. Garrett were able to get to my kids and watch them until my momma is able to get there. Now I have to figure out the quickest route to get home. No telling how long these flights and layovers are going to be, but I am getting there as fast as I can.
As much as I am worried about the children, I am intensely worried about Julianna. I have no idea what has happened to her. This whole situation is way out of sight. I can’t imagine her just getting up and leaving the kids. I am worried that something has happened to her. The last letter that I received from her, she sent pictures of the kids and the three of them together. I have all of them in my pocket right now. I pull one of them out and it is taking everything in me not to cry. I love this woman. I love my family. I just want them to be ok. I feel bad for even have left. Maybe this was too much for Julianna. I don’t know. I thought that everything was good. This is why none of this makes sense. A party? Why would she be having a party? None of this makes sense. Even if she did have a party, why would she leave the kids in the closet. This is insane. This helicopter can’t get to port fast enough.
“Pocket! I need to go home! I forgot about the kids. I left the kids at the house. They are by themselves. I have to get back there!!!” I am sure that Pocket could care less about my kids. They aren’t his kids. Even if they were his kids, he wouldn’t give a damn. I am feeling awful and anxious. I know that they have to be scared to death. I don’t even know how long I have been gone. I yell for Pocket to come on and before I can turn around to sit back down in the car, I feel a tight sting on my face. I taste blood in my mouth. I hit the side of the car and I fall to the ground. My cousin Waverly jumps out of the other car and comes to my side. He looks at Pocket and he is about to square off. “Look Jack! I don’t know who the fuck you are, but this here is my bitch. Stay your ass on the other side before I pop off on you too.” Waverly looks back down at me. “Waverly, I am fine. Seriously. Just go back to the car.” I am slowly but surely picking myself up from the ground. Dusting myself off, I can see the look of hurt in Waverly’s eyes. “Julianna, you have got to be fucking kidding me right now. Where is Joseph? Where are the kids? Are you tricking for this dude?”
I can’t look Waverly in the eyes. I am already feeling like I am in a tight space. On one end, I need to get back to my kids. On another end, I need to get this dope. I am not going to let Waverly get in the way of me getting what it is that I want. I can have both, if we could just move this transaction along. Pocket is already uptight and I don’t need him getting more upset with me than he already is. I am sure that Pipe is tired of the extra drama and is ready to sell his dope to the next dealer. Pocket is not about to let that happen. It looks like me being here isn’t so helpful after all. “Jack! You must be deaf or stupid, I said take your ass back over to that other car! Pipe, I got the loot, you got the dope? And can you fetch your bitch right now?” I can see the temples of Waverly’s head throbbing. “I ain’t never been nobody’s bitch. Understand, Julianna is my cousin. I am only concerned about her. For some dumb ass reason, she actually thinks that her being in the situation is good. I don’t. Fuck it! Julianna, you made these dumb ass decisions, you live with the shit. I just hope that Joseph and them kids don’t drop your ass like they should.” Those words cut me deep.
“Yes Ma’am…. I understand. We will be there shortly.” I hang up the phone with the social worker. Instead of her coming to the house, she is ok with us bringing the children into the police station down Princess Anne. No one needs to see the condition of this house or the condition in which we found the kids. Ms. Burris is clearly overwhelmed. I tell her not to touch anything. We will let Joseph determine how he wants to move forward with this situation. For now, my plan is to meet with the social worker and see if they will grant me temporary custody of the kids until their grandmother from Atlanta arrives. According to Ms. Susan, she said that she would be right here. I didn’t know what time that would be. The main thing is that we are taking the proper precautions. I feel better going to the authorities about this situation. No one wants to see any child be placed in the system. From my experience as a public school teacher, those are the kids with the worst grades and the worst behavior. The system makes these kids become a statistic. I am not trying to do that in this situation, but I need proper documentation. No one is going to accuse myself, Denise, or Ms. Burris with anything. We found the kids and we called the proper persons to ensure that they would be taken care of.
“Babe, you ok? You look a little spaced out.” I look at Chic and I let him know that I feel fine at the moment. He looks like he doesn’t really believe me, but here lately, I don’t think anyone really does. I think that they are just grasping at what they think is going on in my mind. They don’t know if I am the real Jacinta, the PTSD Jacinta, or the Hallucinated Jacinta. It is hard for them I know, but it is even harder on me. I am super confused most of the time, just trying to figure out what the hell is real and what isn’t. Chico tells me that it is time to get dressed. I have another doctor’s appointment. This time, I am meeting with a Psychiatrist. I am hoping that he can help me with all that is going on. Dr. Wise has referred me to Dr. Hall. She says that he is the best in the state. I have heard this before. I just hope that I can trust this doctor to help me and not put me back in the “Doom Room”.
Waiting on God…..