In Atlanta XXX… Chapter 30

Diamond CBD

Dr. Hall’s office is located on the basement floor of the medical building, where Dr. Wise’s office is on the second floor.  This office has no windows, but to make up for it, their are several flat screen televisions framed on the wall as if they were actual windows.  You can really see various scenes of nature as if you were looking out of a real window.  I believe that this is creative.  The office has noise diffusers in every corner of every room.  Dr. Wise has them in her office as well.  She says that they produce “white” noise.  It reminds me of the quiet hum of the airplane after it has reached a cruising altitude.  It really does put you at ease and in a state of relaxation.

I approach the receptionist’s window and the kindest lady greets me.  It is as if she already knows all that I am going through.  You can tell by the way she talks to me.  It is soft and reassuring.  She gives me a clip board with several pages of medical questions for me to fill out.  I find out that Dr. Hall does not take insurance.  When I ask about the cost, she tells me that it is $150 for the first visit and $130 for every doctor’s visit.  My other option is to pay $1500 for an entire year of medical concierge service.  This will give me unlimited doctor’s visits and personalized care 24/7.  I can even text him and have access to him via his personal cell phone.  Wow!  I decide to pay $150 and if this doctor can truly help me, I will consider the concierge service.

I take my seat next to Chico who is flipping through his Instagram page.  He asks me if I need any help filling out the forms.  I tell him that I can manage.  Most of the forms are your standard current health concerns, medical history, and personal medical information.  There is a HIPA form, that is pretty standard.  Then I finally get to what looks like 4 pages of personality questions.  I start to flip through the list of questions and I start to feel overwhelmed.   The questions are broad, yet blunt.  It is damn near the same questions that the Social Worker from the “Doom Room”.  I know that Chico is somewhat sneaking a peek at the forms that I am completing.  I find myself stopping at different questions, not sure how to write down the answers.  I am nervous all over again and I just say “Fuck it!”  I answer each of the questions, not really caring how I am answering them.  “Babe, you ok?”  Chico is already sensing my anxiety.  “I’m ok”  That’s a lie.

I take the clip board with all of my paperwork and I take it to the receptionist.   As I pass her the clip board, she grabs my hand.  Once she lays the clip board down, she holds her other hand on top of the hand that she is currently holding.  “Listen Beautiful, you are going to be ok!  Dr. Hall is the best, he will help you.   I promise.  My name is Diane.  You let me know if we can do anything for you.  We will call you back shortly, babe!”  This puts me at ease.  I don’t if Diane does this with all of his patients, but she made me feel as though she was only there for me and she understood what was happening.   We are called to the back and we are taken to such a quaint and comforting room.   A few minutes later, in comes the skinniest man.  He looks like Mr. Rogers except younger and way taller.  Dr. Hall has to be 6’5″.  He has long locks of curls that dance around his head.  By far, he has to be the most positive person I have ever met.  He has a smile on his face and there can’t be anything more perfect than right this second.  This is going to sound bold, but I swear white people have great lives. They never seem stressed.

“Hi! I’m Dr. Hall!  I am so glad that you have decided to let me help you.  So tell me, what’s going on?”  We take Dr. Hall through the same journey that we explained to Dr. Wise.  The entire time that we are explaining things, I am crying, but Dr. Hall is still happy go lucky, but listening intensely and taking a ton of notes.  After we finish explaining, which I thought was hard in itself, he decides to start asking about some of the real questions that were on the questionnaire.  Lord, build a fence.

“According to your medical forms, you are currently taking Prozac, Xanax, Amlodipine, and Ambien.  Do you know what each prescription is for?  How long and how often have you taken these prescriptions?”  Dr. Hall is just rattling off question after question and in such a polite way.  It is making my head spin.  “Yes, I have been on Prozac since 1982.  It was first prescribed to me by a child psychiatrist when I was younger.  I was scared of a lot of things, so my grandmother took me to see a doctor and this was given to me.  It is suppose to help with the anxiety and the hiding in the closet issues.”  This statement makes Dr. Hall stop what he is doing.  He puts his clip board down and looks at me.  It is almost as if he is trying to read my mind or see through my soul.  “Prozac was introduced in 1982.  Do you know if you were taking this prescription under some sort of medical study?”  I look confused.  I didn’t know that Prozac was introduced and approved by the FDA in 1982.  Dr. Hall on the other hand has a look of defeat on his face.  It is almost as if he feels sorry for me.  He grabs the clip board and starts to take additional notes.  “You said you have issues with hiding in the closet.   Is this a behavior issue that still exists?”  I look up at Dr. Hall and then at Chico.  Chico’s eyes are so encouraging.  “Yes, I still hide in my closet or any tight space for that matter.  It’s like a security blanket for me.  It is hard to explain.”

I can tell that Dr. Hall wants to ask more questions, but is thinking as to whether he wants to put through all of this emotional agony.  He looks to Chico as if he is trying to get a head nod to go ahead or to stop.  He decides to continue probing away.  We are in his office for two and half hours.  He is so intrigued by the situation, even I am shocked at his interest.  I have never had a doctor take the kind of time that this doctor has taken.  After we go through all of the crazy instances and issues that I think that I have, Dr. Hall looks at me with a smile on his face.  What the fuck is he so happy about?  “Jacinta, what if I told you that I think that I can cure you.   Would you believe me?”  I tell him “No, I don’t think that there is a cure for all of the things that I have been through”  He gives a slight chuckle and asks, “Can we at least see if I can try?”  Say no more.  I can’t think of anything else worse happening.

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