While I am busy thinking that someone was judging me by my appearance, here I am being a hypocrite. I have clearly judged this attorney by hers. I am glad that she is persistent and professional. I probably would have put me out if I were her and passed me on to someone else who felt like dealing with my antics. Amy gets straight to the point. “Ok, why are we here today?” I know all of the details, but I find myself stuck. The fact that I am sitting in a law office trying to get custody of my own children and oh by the way, I don’t know what the hell is going on with my wife, really starts to sink in. I would have never thought in a million years that this would be where I am in my life. Julianna was my everything. The fact that we started a family took me to another level in life. Where is she? The more I started to think of all of the things that related to Julianna, I got snapped back into the present by Amy.
I go into the details of my dilemma. As I am speaking, Amy is busy taking notes amongst her cluttered desk. I notice that Amy halts her writing and looks at me. She literally halts everything to look at me. I must’ve said something that struck a nerve or caught her attention because she comes to a complete stop. “Mr. Jones, this is a lot! How are you dealing with all of this?” I look at this woman and in the midst of my passive behavior, I break. I mean I really break. All bets are off. I am a complete mess. Amy walks around her desk and passes me a Kleenex. I calm myself. “Mr. Jones this would be a difficult situation for anyone. It sounds as if your mother is a lifesaver. With her watching and staying with the kids, you can be rest assured. I suggest you try to find your wife. Let me work on the court system. I will be filing a motion in court as soon as possible. Know that I will do everything in my power to get you and your children back together”. With this I am somewhat satisfied. I don’t think that I will be ok until my kids are out of this situation and home with me.
I leave Shuttleworth and Mahoney and head to my van. I bought this van in anticipation of being able to take my family anywhere. I customized the controls on the front panel to make it more elaborate and comfortable for anyone who was riding. As I look into my rear view mirror, I can’t help but to notice that Julianna is not in the passenger’s seat and Jacinta and Jordan are not playing in the back. This saddens me even more and I find the tears flowing again. I can’t help it. How did someone like me lose a family so suddenly and at the same time they are alive? It is not like I lost them to death or imprisonment. I simply lost my family. As I pull out of the parking space, I am running through all kinds of thoughts as to what my next move should be. Amy suggested that I focus on finding Julianna. I guess this is a start, but not before I go back to the hospital to see the kids and check on momma.
I am rocking Jordan again and she is drinking from a bottle that was made with powdered milk. They call it Similac, but it looks like talc powder and that makes me nervous. I was under the impression that Julianna was breast feeding Jordan. I am sure that Jordan is just hungry and will take anything at this point. It’s a damn shame. I tell you this much, if something happens to my baby while in this hospital, I am fit to show them the magic show of their lives. I am not the one to play with. The main thing that you need to know about me is that I don’t play any games, especially when it comes to my family. You don’t mess with me or my family… period! Jordan finishes the bottle in no time and before long she is snoring softly in my arms. As a mother of six, it boggles me how you can literally leave your young like Julianna has. It just doesn’t make any sense to me. Jordan’s little hand is curled around my forefinger and it melts my heart that she is attached to me. Was she ever attached to Julianna, I wonder?
All of sudden, Jacinta pops up in front of me and I put my finger up to my lips to let her know that she needs to be quiet because I finally got Jordan down for a nap. “Goodmomma, is it okay for me to go in your purse?” This child is so different. It is like she is an adult in a little person’s body. For what she has had to go through, technically she is an adult. I know why she wants to go into my purse. I give her a straight face and then a huge smile telling her that it was okay, but not to use too much. She is at the back of rocking chair in no time. She pulls out my makeup case and gets to work. Some children like playing games or playing outside or with toys. Not this child. She wants to play dress up. She likes going into my purse to get out my lotion jar and my lipstick. Her face will be covered in red in no time.
A nurse comes into the room and she starts talking to Jacinta as if I am not sitting here and these aren’t my grandchildren. These folks don’t have a clue as to how to take care of my children. I just continue to sit here and monitor their every move. Tough for them if I make them feel uncomfortable, but there is no way I am leaving these kids without myself or Joseph present. Goodmomma is here now. Ain’t no fucking up around me. I run a tight ass ship in Atlanta and it looks like I am about to run a tight ass ship up here. Jacinta is steady explaining that she has to do her makeup so she can get dressed. It is not until she has said this that I realize that we haven’t given these kids a change of clothes since we got here. This upsets me, but I make a mental note of all of the things that we need to get straight around here.
Just as I am in mid thought, Joseph comes into the children’s ward. He looks as if he is exhausted. He has to be. I know that this situation is way over his head and it is taking the best out of my child. I worked too hard in my life so that my kids didn’t have to suffer as much as I did. Looking at Joe, has me upset about this whole situation. I am trying not to hate Julianna right now, but Lord knows it is hard considering what I am looking at. Nobody does this to my family and not answer. Trust me on this one. “Hey baby, did you get a good lawyer to help us out?” He answers that he has. He seems to be really impressed with her, so I m good with that. “Joe listen. I am going to let you sit here with the kids for a moment. I have some things that I need to do.” He reaches in his pockets to pass me the keys to his van. Ain’t no way in hell I’m driving that thing. It is huge. I would rather take a cab. I do however, ask him for the keys to his house. He hands his keys over and I am out the door with the promise to be back here shortly.
Luckily, I was able to catch a cab right outside of the hospital. Looks as if the lady that just got out of it was in labor. Good for us, she didn’t get a chance to have the baby in the back of this cab. I give him the address for Joseph’s house. It shouldn’t take us long to get there. The minute I open the door to the house, the foul smell hits my nostrils again. I didn’t get a chance to completely clean this house as I should have. That wasn’t as important as getting to the children. From the looks of things, it doesn’t look like Ms. Burris is coming back to clean the house either. I head towards the children’s room and the only real focus that I have is the fact that I have to go into their closet and look for clothes. I open the door and even though I cleaned as much as I could, you can still see the stains in the carpet on the floor where they sat in their own soil for those days and nights.
I swallow and out loud, I ask the Lord to give me strength. I see a few items and I start to take them off their little hangers. I do to see if we have clean underwear or if I need to go to Thalhimer’s to purchase some new. I start to look around to see if I can locate a small bag or a suitcase. Then it hits me. I run to the phone and I dial the number to my house in Atlanta. “William, call my boys and tell them that I need for them to fly here. They only need to get a one way. They will be driving back. ” My husband, as always, sounds confused and as usual he has a habit of asking me to repeat myself which I don’t like doing. I tell him my instructions again only for him to start barking questions. “Sue Bone (the pet name that he has given to me), what’s going on? Why you need the boys?” I tell him that I don’t have time to explain all of that. I just need him to get them on a plane to Norfolk as soon as possible. We hang up agreeing that he will get them out here to help me.
I go to the garage in search of any kid of box I can find. As I am coming inside, I hear a noise in the house. There is someone else here other than myself. I take my shoe off for good measure. Whoever it is, they will get their ass whooped in here messing with me. I walk around the corner… “Julianna!!! Where in the hell have you been??!!!”